i am a people watcher. it's what i do. it's what i've always done. i have always been the quiet one in the background, not speaking to anyone but able to name every single person and how they're related to each other. i observe. i watch the neighbors across from me, i work out their relationships (who is that older lady, and does she live with you or is she just there a lot?) and i make up things to answer the questions i'll never ask. (she's your mother, she doesn't live there but she's there all day, every day, taking care of the baby while you two work.)
i don't like people watching me. i don't like people looking at me. i get very self conscious, and i don't believe it when people tell me they're looking at me because they like me. i like to be the invisible one. i want to be the fly on the wall, knowing everything but nobody knowing me.
sometimes that's lonely.
but most times it's wonderful knowing that i can go to the store in my pajamas, and not see a single person i know.
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