checking in

i opened up the blog tonight to purge. i was going to start fresh, delete all the nonsense, filler posts i've done trying to make it look like i blog every day and then start over again. but then i decided to leave it. there are things in there i don't want to erase, and you know what? i might just enjoy looking back at that some day.

so, it's march now. time is flying, which is good i suppose. i weighed myself on march 1st, didn't like the number, and waited until the 2nd to weigh myself again. 177.0. i guess that's fine. overall i've lost about 10 pounds since we moved, and almost 15 since we first got the scale last fall. considering i haven't really been trying very hard i'm satisfied with that. i have been wanting to get a gym membership since we moved here (actually since i moved to albuquerque, but i couldn't ever find one close enough), but i never have enough money. next paycheck i will hopefully have enough to finally do it. then i can start trying for real. i'm going home at the end of april and i'd like to have lost about another 10 pounds by then (at least), and hopefully more.

the living situation is still pretty much the same. it goes in waves. we'll be fine for days, and then justin will say something to piss me off again. they still won't control (or wash) the cat. they did finally decide that they'll move upstairs when the baby is born (or before, hopefully), which means we can move into the big bedroom and kinda take over downstairs. i'm REALLY looking forward to that... then i can make the whole downstairs cat free and actually relax on the couch for once.

we've been talking about what to do after we've fulfilled our year here that we promised. i think it's fairly obvious i will not be staying here any longer. nothing's in writing, so technically we're not obligated, but i'm not a big enough bitch to ruin a 10 year friendship by cutting out early. so, here i'm stuck for at least several months.

louie suggested that we move back to minnesota. he says it's fair since i spent 2 years with his family in his hometown. i was surprised that he suggested it, and touched. i do miss my family, and it would be nice to be with them again... but i'm not sure yet if i really want to be back in minnesota. i still have a lot of bad memories that i'm not sure i want to confront yet. but i'm also getting a little sick of running from things, of needing a fresh start every two years. plus we already have jobs. although i still detest it, it is nice to be able to go where ever we want and still have a job. i also want my family to get to know him better, and see why i love him. i get the sense that they don't like him, and i really hate that. i told kelly and mom yesterday; mom was a little hesitant. so i'm not sure how that'll go. a year is a long time.