greed... money... $$$
most days, most of the time, all i think about is money. how i don't have any, how i need more, how much i owe, how much i want, how much i need, who i need to pay, when i need to pay, why i need to pay, how i'm going to pay, how i'm going to spend it. does this make me greedy? or does this make me desperate? is everyone like this, or just the people who don't have any? will i someday be able to go one single day and not think about money? will i someday be able to pay off all my debt and not think about it ever again? will i someday be able to have a savings account? to have a car repair come up and not have to instantly calculate how i'm going to eat and pay for the car repair at the same time? will i someday be able to go to the doctor without thinking about the amount of the copay? or go to the dentist without wondering how much i'll need to have and how long i'll need to take off work and how i'll be able to afford to take time off work? will i ever not resent every penny he spends on alcohol, and every penny i spend on feeding us? will i ever be able to buy new clothes again without instantly feeling guilty for myself, for him, for the food we needed instead or the bill i should have paid? is this greed? is wanting these things greed?
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