money

i've been watching shows like "downsized" and "til debt do us part", and they're making me feel a lot better about our current financial situation. obviously we have debt, and my credit score is probably a nightmare, and i need to be making more money. but these people on these shows are living on credit, spending more money than they take in every month and getting deeper and deeper into debt. so, while obviously i hate living paycheck to paycheck and having no savings, i am glad that we're not bleeding money. i am grateful for the fact that we pay cash for everything and don't use credit. i feel confident that once we get to colorado we will be able to start paying back what we owe, and if we really work hard and concentrate on it i don't think it will take that long to accomplish. is it unrealistic of me to say that i'd like to be almost completely debt free by 2012? maybe with the exception of my student loan?

i know that it's going to take work, and concentration, and dedication, and i know that the first step is to face the reality of what i actually owe. but i do believe that i can do it. i'm just going to follow the advice i got from a few articles i've read, and start with the smaller amounts. that way i can start to feel like i'm accomplishing something, and i can slowly work my way up to the larger things. to be honest, i was actually kind of glad last year when my tax return went to debt, because it was a huge chunk of money that i probably would have spent on much less important things. so, even if this year's tax return ends up the same way, i will not regret it.

and speaking of regret, i don't regret a single penny i've spent over the last two years. before that, yes, of course i wish i hadn't spent so much money on furniture and home decor when i was going to leave anyway, and i wish i had built up a savings when i could, but i don't regret anything i've spent since deciding to move to new mexico. i don't even really regret the payday loans. obviously i don't intend to ever take one out again, but they helped us when we really needed it.

i have hope, for the first time in a very long while. and i think that means a lot.