losing it.

okay, i'm posting this so it's official:

i am losing weight.

i'm trying not to say "trying to", because i WILL do it. for real.

i really don't want to take a before pic, but i do like the comparisons... maybe i'll do it. i'm not sure yet.

so. for the past couple of weeks i have been actively working on eating healthier. i have smoothies every morning, which is definitely helping me to have more energy and my skin is getting clearer. so far i've lost about 5 pounds.

starting stats:

age: 27
height: 5'6"
weight: 193.8 (this was back in august, my highest weight ever)
size: 16/L-XL

my goal weight, ideally, is 135, but i will be happy to get to the 160s range, and even happier to be in the 150s or 140s. i really want to do this healthily, but i also want to be at my goal by april for nicole's wedding. since i've been jilted as a bridesmaid, after 20 years of friendship, i want to look fan-fucking-tastic. better than her, preferably. yep, that's right. i want to show up the bride.

also... my main inspiration right now is my mother. she's been overweight my whole life. i've never known what size or how much she weighed, but she's always been bigger than me. now she's a 14, and she's still going. i would love it if we could share clothes- SMALLER clothes.

i was going to join a gym, even found the one i wanted to join and everything, but then i started doing some at-home workouts and realized that i'm way more out of shape than i thought. so instead of paying for a gym to spend 20 minutes max doing cardio, i'm going to work out at home for awhile. at least until my endurance is better and i get a little strength back. i've also heard a lot of positive reviews about jillian michaels' 30 day shred video, so i think i'm going to order that and give it a try. so far, i've been using the lose it app to track calories and the workout trainer app for workouts. both are free, and so far i feel like they're working.

weight as of this morning: 184.5